?

I think I want to become a math teacher?

put your head on my shoulder by michael buble - michael bubble

From this morning

The Lord protects the helpless; when I was in danger, he saved me. Be confident, my heart, because the Lord has been good to me. The Lord saved me from death; he stopped my tears and kept me from defeat. And so I walk in the presence of the Lord in the world of the living.

I kept on believing, even when I said, "I am completely crushed," even when I was afraid and said, "No one can be trusted." What can I offer the Lord for all his goodness to me?

Psalms 116:6-12 The Good News Translation

*Sigh*

Jess

I already blogged about her but I just can't get enough!!!
She shall steal the hearts of millions...

=|

BAD GUNDAM FAN!!!

THAT'S A NO-NO!

Street Art

I've always been a big fan of stencil art graffiti like Banksy, but I really like this one from Denmark because the message is delivered very cleverly.

THE NAKED TRUTH from ABOVE on Vimeo.

The Start

For some reason I'm getting tan even though the only sunshine I see are the beams of light that pierce through my window blinds to reveal the dance of textured air.

I'm hoping this summer quarter of school will force me outside more so I can soak up the look of life with my skin. All because I live like a vampire doesn't mean I have to look like one.

If my upcoming weekend is any indication of how this summer is going to be, then your looking at a very happy guy =)

Friday - Meet up with the quality Everett people watch Transformers 2 in the morning, eat then we're all going to watch Year one in the afternoon, then go to the baptism at night.

Saturday - Perform for the Baccalaureate service since it's being held in Everett, hang out with people during the midday, choir practice in the afternoon, then guard by myself at night.

Sunday - The normal 7 and 11 services and another practice, and then some sweet, sweet sleep before work.


It's the perfect weekend ^_^

Cloths

Someone told me that I dress awkwardly, and that's a pretty true statement so I'm going to start buying new cloths. I've been trying to be a frugal as possible, but I suppose now is as good of a time as any to start spending a little money on cloths.
The only problem is finding cloths that fit my super-sized body.

The Feeling Result of Confusion

Im Glad There Is You - Jamie Cullum


"In this world of ordinary people...
extraordinary people,
I'm glad there is you.

In this world of overrated pleasures
and underrated treasures,
I'm glad there is you."

I know why Corinne Bailey Rae hasn't come out with a sophmore album, but I really wish she would. I can only imagine how gracefully melancholy it would be. Gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Sweet Beats

This is pretty much what I look like when I'm really bumpin' the jams. Yo.

If I actually put effort out, but no one notices, does that even count as trying?

Resolution

For the past year I've been afraid that I've lost all feeling in my heart. I was fearful that I had tried to take too tight of a hold around my emotions and that all of my feelings had frozen over completely.
This week, and more specifically, this weekend had finally eased my fears.
I've spent so many hours contemplating over what happened and how it correlates to the bigger picture of life, and now I see things a bit more clearly.

Everything is changing, starting today. I know what I have to do. I know what needs to be accomplished. My frame of mind is ready and focused, and my spirit is stronger and willing.

I can see the fork in the road up ahead, but it's my decision to choose left or right. My life's work is to simply stay in the middle of this narrow path and not get sidetracked.

Less than one year left until the confusion ends.

____________________

This was the most moving weekend I have ever had.

meh

I am in no mood to be creative. Not now. My mind is still restless with thoughts about this weekend. not good.

So here's something I wrote in my notebook that I use to brainstorm script ideas in. (Composition of course =)
So you can take this however you'd like, but all these sentences were written down as general premises that would be answered or drawn out further while I wrote more of the story.

Oh.. and I'm typing exactly how I originally wrote it on paper.

*EDIT
After typing it all out, I have to admit it's about 1/4 part blog.

- - - - -

Do really have any friends?
Why am I all alone watching other people's lives unfold online, but not doing anything about my own?
Who do I want to be?
Who am I right now?
What do even want in life?
What should I do?
Who can I talk to?
Why am I surrounded by people, but I still feel alone?
Am I the only one who feels this way?

I feel like I found the one person who I can truly connect with, but the existence of our relationship is a pseudo-fictitious culmination of online interactions.
How real could either of us be online?
What happens when we meet in person?
I know I'm awkward and random and my thinking style is off-beat.

Will I ever meet a girl that could truly appreciate me? I don't see how that would be possible. I try to live a quiet and humble life, so I don't have very much to offer to someone. Even though I live in a world of ego and pride I try to convince myself that I choose to be alone, but I really don't have a choice at all. The only way to keep from being lonely is to tell myself that I've decided to be this way. But what happens after I keep lying to myself like this? What happens when I embed that idea so hard that I start to really live by it? What if I meet others like myself, but we're all to involved in our own loneliness to notice each other?
Am i really happy?

I don't stress or worry about anything, not because I'm trying to be ignorant, it's just because I understand the world and people and who I am for the most part. I ponder upon the big picture of life, and analyze the shortest of brush strokes in that picture as well.

I don't worry. I love others. My heart truly cares. I try to be thoughtful, understanding, helpful, wise, young, dependable, selfless, noble, righteous, humble, obedient, and confident.

But I know I'm still lonely.

The feeling of loneliness and helplessness used to sadden my heart, but it's stronger now. It's more understanding of the situation I'm in and I'm relieved about that. But it still has moments of sorrow.

I know what I'm doing now. I know what path I want to take. I'm confident that my decisions are the best for myself and for those around me.

I don't know anything.

Love should have more than one word. There's the love that a man has for is God and vice-versa. Then the love between a man and a woman. There's also a love for friends and a love for family. Even though we use the same word to describe how we feel for our favorite movie as we do to describe our feelings for our spouse, they're not the exact same sentiment. Maybe other languages have more than one world for love. I wonder if true love between a guy and a girl has to be recipicol, or maybe a guy could truly love a girl and she not love him back in the same fashion. I'm not sure, but I don't think that would be considered true love.

I truly wish I could find that God-given love of my life, where her and I complete each other's hearts. When saying "I love you" outloud wouldn't even be neccessary because our hearts would radiat our feelings to each other without the help of our minds. A diamond love. Shinning brightly for all to witness. Unscratchable and solid. Everlasting. A beautiful creation made by two lonely carbon atoms.

I have to tray even harder to be an even better person.

I'm still lost and lonely.

Hopefully I bump into someone soon.

Perseverance

Great beings accomplish through perseverance.
Steadfast movement on consistent paths leads to success.
With heart full of compassion
Uninterrupted joy and good fortune are inevitable.

Sleepless.
I've spent hours just laying down, staring at the ceiling thinking about everything in silence.
I don't do that kind of thing.
I've never actually been shocked before now.

Conan

Conan is back and better than ever. My hero!

I Wanna Marry Conan O Brien - Nerd Riot


and whoever thought, "wow, the stage behind conan looks like a whole bunch of mario worlds" is my idol.

Me Thinks

The latest chapter of naruto had a part that really related to something I'm always dealing with, and that's over thinking things. I've been doing it a lot lately because, umm, yeah. I used to be happy or positive during a time like this, but not anymore. Stupidity of the past is haunting me with a ghost of pestimism.

Done Drifting

I'm done drifting, I'm ready for living
I'm done drifting, I'm ready for living
With you

And though the world is big and wide
What I want is peace inside
And though there's still so much to do
All I need is you

I'm done searching, I'm ready to dig in
I'm done searching, I'm ready for dig in
With you

And though we still have far to go
That's alright, we'll take it slow
And though the days are often long
With you here I can be strong

I'm done wishing, I'm ready to giving
I'm done wishing, I'm ready for giving
With you

And though the world is big and wide
What I want is peace inside
And though there's still so much to do
All I need is you

Done Drifting - Heather Nova

Decisiveness

When the Mind is made up
according to the Heart,
And the Hsing is in accord
with Human Nature,
All your actions will be
in keeping with The Way.
There will be no blame.

i feel ya

It's not the pale moon that excites me

One of my all-time favorite songs. Being contented over the mere proximity of another is beautiful.

The Nearness Of You - Norah Jones

Attentiveness

Attentive listening to others is important
regardless of their stations and positions.
Wise people consider the deep meaning
and true values of all suggestions.
Learning and teaching are exchanged joyfully
through deep listening and mutual appreciation.

Candle Stars

When I have my own house I'm definitly gunna create a hallway that looks like that one room in The Fountain.

how could i have forgotten to mention this song as part of the soundtrack of my life...

Im A Realist - The Cribs

People

History is essentially what the present is comprised of and the answer to how/why things are they way they are . That's why I'm always interested in a person's past, but I would never judge someone based on it. Actually, I try very hard not to judge anyone at all. I simply try to figure out if that person will have a positive influence in my life, or if I could possibly be benefitial in some way to them. I always expect the best from people regardless of reputation. That doesn't mean that people don't let me down, it's just that I think I'm pretty good at adjusting to whatever happens in life. Even if a person is a known people-pleaser, I'll still give them a chance and hopefully help them stop worrying about what others think, and start developing their own opinions. When all else fails, we become acquaintances. It happens.

I don't consider myself cooler, smarter, better, etc. than anyone else, but I do feel like I'm on a whole different level. I suppose the difference between me and other people is that I really try to learn and gain wisdom from everything around me. From elders, peers, personal experience, books, movies, anime, and even from the simple observation of people interacting around me. I'm not scrutinizing anything I see, I just take in all the information so I can develop theories and thoughts that will better benefit me and, above all, the others around me.

I like individuals because they're capable of change, but people in general are just sheep without a shepard.

Mindfulness

Be in harmony with The Way
which asks that you attend to small,
subtle details of things.
Be as mindful also when you interact
with all others in the world.
Your spirit will be whole.

Kudos to this avid movie reviewer.

"This movie is totally fucking niggerish awesomeness incarnate."


________________________________________


Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
something that would make me never want another
something that would make it so that nothing matters
all would be clear then

but I guess i'll have to settle for a few brief moments
and watch it all dissolve into a single second
try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line

- Bright Eyes

Inner Stillness

Attain the utmost in emptiness.
Hold firm to inner stillness.
While all things grow and thrive,
Contemplate the turning cycles of life.
Flourishing as all nature is,
All returns to its source.
Returning to the Origin is to find inner quietude,
A return to claim our destiny.
This is constant and eternal.
To know this eternal constant is called Enlightenment.

Weekend Again

Seems like my weekends just keep getting longer and longer.
Always busy with something, but things have been really fun lately. I still want to pass out super hard when I get off of work on Monday mornings, but staying awake all weekend makes that Monday sleep so much more enjoyable.

We had a little gathering at Alain and Ariel's house yesterday because Alain's going back to PI today and he told us some of his first-hand exorcism stories. Pretty amazing stuff. Can't wait to hear his stories next year!

_______________________________


TEEHEE! kekekekeke

Trustfulness

Life's unfolding of events is as apparent
as the coming and going of the seasons,
the alternations of the sun and moon and the stars.
All things are exactly as they should be.